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July 26, 2004 ( Monday, July 26, 2004 ) Hmm..... I looked back at my posts from a year ago and I noticed that my posting levels have majorly decreased. I don't really know why...well, I do...most of it is because I'm too lazy or busy, I really do mean to though. So, I look back at last year and I see that I have a few things that I didn't have last year. Most importantly I have a soul-mate. A love. A deep and meaningful relationship. The thing that some people die without knowing. I have it. I'm never gonna let it go either. If I didn't have Scott, I don't really know what I would be doing or where I would be. He's saved me in every sense of the word. He's protected me from things that I can't protect myself from. He's stood beside me through some trying times and I'm so proud to be able to call him mine. I have an education. Not that I didn't before, but I actually have a college education. The first in my family. And not only did I graduate, I graduated on the Dean's List. I graduated with A's. I worked my ass off for 10 months and I'm proud to say that I met my expectations. I have a future now. Again, not that I didn't before, but I have a background, I have experience. I meet qualifications for a decent paying job. Another thing I've noticed that has changed pretty drastically in the past 12 months is the relationships I have with my friends. I'm not sure which of you actually read this, but I need to write this anyways. I don't know why I've been casted out. I'm lucky in the sense that I'm not like some that have been "kicked out", but it still hurts to know that people don't call as much. That people don't want to hang out with me anymore. I'm not sure why. I have a feeling it has to do with my relatioship with Scott. Whether it's because you feel like we don't have time to hang out with you or whether you're uncomfortable with who I am. I would really like to know. I've felt my friendships slowly decline and I would do whatever it takes to try and salvage them as much as possible. Scott: You know how much you mean to me. You're the air, the sun, the beat in my heart. You're everything. Erin: We were once as close as brother and sister. I'm not sure what happened between us but our friendship is one that I feel needs to be fixed. Trina: Again, we were so close and we've drifted so far. I would love to regain our bond. Ginn: I hardly hear from you. I don't know if it's because you're not comfortable or if it's because you're busy, but I would like to remain a friend to you. Chris: You've stuck by me through some interesting and challenging times and I consider you to be one of my strongest friends. Our friendship is probably one of the strongest I have left. Anyone else, I want to fix things. I want everything in my life to be perfect. I have the love, I have the education/career, I want the friends. |
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